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Kidstuff BIBLICAL COMMENTARY! |
Elementary School-children's written comments - during (Jewish and Christian) Bible Study .
(If you know of even ONE KidsThought like any of these please let me know! )
OLD
TESTAMENT HISTORY
In the first book of the Bible, Guinness, God got tired of creating
the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had
trouble
with unsympathetic Genitals.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of
fire by night.
Samson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread,
which is bread made without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went
up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
Samson was a strong man who let
himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
The Fifth Commandment is humour thy mother and father.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit
adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached the UK.
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
stand
still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived
in
the Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
NEW TESTAMENT HISTORY
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which
is
another name for marriage.
According to the Bible, a Christian should have only one
wife. This is
called monotony.
- Thanks to Dick & Dina
Kerr, Canada, for this collection